Saturday, January 29, 2011
To be Loved
Tonight was a rare occasion, I watched a movie. I actually sat down alone on the couch at 7:30 PM, both little ones soundly asleep, and I watched an entire movie start to finish. WOW! This does not even happen when my husband is home, yet alone when he is away. Of course my pick was a sappy love story ending in tears for the actors and myself. How is it that a love story can make you fall in love all over again every single time? I walked away from the television day dreaming of my love and longing for his return and the safety of his arms. The need to be loved and to love is eternally within us. I love and I am loved. This is a blessing and a joy. It does not matter that my husband is across the world and I have not seen him in six months, he loves me. He loves me, he loves me, he loves and it makes me want to sing!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Good Friends are Hard to Find
"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
It doesn't take much time as an Army wife to discover the need to make fast friends. Just as most people rely on their family and the friends they grew up with, military spouses tend to rely on people they meet on their journey. This post is dedicated to a dear friend I met earlier this year, but who I feel just as close to as friends I have known for a long time.
A friend is someone who steps in to help you when you need it most. A friend is someone who you enjoy spending time with because they truly listen and you know you can trust them. A friend gives of oneself and does not expect anything in return. This friend is those things to me and I pray I am the same to her. God sent me a friend to help me through this deployment and I am not sure how I would be doing without her. May the Lord bless this dear friend of mine.
I cannot tell you what it is like to have a friend who will come over and empty your dishwasher or play with your two year old in the backyard, or hold your baby while you take a shower. I have a friend who will do these things for me and it has never meant more because some days I am unable to do it all alone. What a true blessing it is to have a friend. May the Lord bless my helpful friend.
I have a friend who I can be myself around and who I can pray with and share a meal with. She is a friend with whom I find comfort because our husbands are on the other side of the world spending cold nights together and perhaps sharing a hot cup of coffee and a conversation every now and then. What a beautiful thing it is to face a challenge together. The bond we have may not be understood by others. However, we quickly grow close as we walk a challenging path side by side. May the Lord bless my faithful friend. May He help us to help each other until in the arms of our husbands we abide.
It doesn't take much time as an Army wife to discover the need to make fast friends. Just as most people rely on their family and the friends they grew up with, military spouses tend to rely on people they meet on their journey. This post is dedicated to a dear friend I met earlier this year, but who I feel just as close to as friends I have known for a long time.
A friend is someone who steps in to help you when you need it most. A friend is someone who you enjoy spending time with because they truly listen and you know you can trust them. A friend gives of oneself and does not expect anything in return. This friend is those things to me and I pray I am the same to her. God sent me a friend to help me through this deployment and I am not sure how I would be doing without her. May the Lord bless this dear friend of mine.
I cannot tell you what it is like to have a friend who will come over and empty your dishwasher or play with your two year old in the backyard, or hold your baby while you take a shower. I have a friend who will do these things for me and it has never meant more because some days I am unable to do it all alone. What a true blessing it is to have a friend. May the Lord bless my helpful friend.
I have a friend who I can be myself around and who I can pray with and share a meal with. She is a friend with whom I find comfort because our husbands are on the other side of the world spending cold nights together and perhaps sharing a hot cup of coffee and a conversation every now and then. What a beautiful thing it is to face a challenge together. The bond we have may not be understood by others. However, we quickly grow close as we walk a challenging path side by side. May the Lord bless my faithful friend. May He help us to help each other until in the arms of our husbands we abide.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Post Office Lines are Like Deployments: Bittersweet
What is it about a deployment that can teach you so much about yourself? Perhaps it is the fact that you are challenged to do things you normally would shy away from. Number one, wait in a 45 minute line at the post office....sounds enticing, doesn't it? The average person would come back when the line was short. However, an Army wife chooses to wait because her husband may be waiting 45 days just to grasp a taste of home and be reminded that someone loves him.
A few weeks ago I broke down with silent tears in the line at the post office. I have such a love hate relationship with post offices. I walk in, and if the line is long I huff and I puff and I stare at the workers and roll my eyes thinking that will somehow hurry them along. WRONG! That makes them move even slower, so don't try it. The end result of going to the post office is good. My husband will soon receive a box of items to help him survive in a war zone. Sometimes making it through the line is a battle in itself. I never imagined when I met my husband, our relationship would force me to spend so much precious time in a post office. Post offices, like deployments can be bitter sweet.
On this particular day, I walked in to my favorite place to find at least a 45 minute wait. I couldn't take one more frustration. I could not take one more episode of pushing the limit of my patience beyond where it desired to go. I had not spoken to my husband in a while and it was starting to tug at my heart. My beautiful two year old had more than likely done a few things earlier that day to give me a run for my money. The lady behind me just barely made it through the line that day without hearing my life story. More than likely, my moment of truth presented itself because I had finally stopped. I was forced to just stand there and do nothing but wait. With such a busy schedule and doing my best to fill each day up so that it passes quickly and I am one day closer to seeing my husband, I rarely pause. Much like my life these days, at the post office, I was waiting for something. I had to display patience, but wow, was it tough. I fought back the tears and I made it through. Small victories show me I can make it through this. If I can wait in that post office line, well, then I can wait a year before I see my husband. If I can run for an hour without a rest, then I can run this race to the finish as well. Seek the small victories in your daily life and remind yourself that this too, you will overcome!
To God be the Glory.
A few weeks ago I broke down with silent tears in the line at the post office. I have such a love hate relationship with post offices. I walk in, and if the line is long I huff and I puff and I stare at the workers and roll my eyes thinking that will somehow hurry them along. WRONG! That makes them move even slower, so don't try it. The end result of going to the post office is good. My husband will soon receive a box of items to help him survive in a war zone. Sometimes making it through the line is a battle in itself. I never imagined when I met my husband, our relationship would force me to spend so much precious time in a post office. Post offices, like deployments can be bitter sweet.
On this particular day, I walked in to my favorite place to find at least a 45 minute wait. I couldn't take one more frustration. I could not take one more episode of pushing the limit of my patience beyond where it desired to go. I had not spoken to my husband in a while and it was starting to tug at my heart. My beautiful two year old had more than likely done a few things earlier that day to give me a run for my money. The lady behind me just barely made it through the line that day without hearing my life story. More than likely, my moment of truth presented itself because I had finally stopped. I was forced to just stand there and do nothing but wait. With such a busy schedule and doing my best to fill each day up so that it passes quickly and I am one day closer to seeing my husband, I rarely pause. Much like my life these days, at the post office, I was waiting for something. I had to display patience, but wow, was it tough. I fought back the tears and I made it through. Small victories show me I can make it through this. If I can wait in that post office line, well, then I can wait a year before I see my husband. If I can run for an hour without a rest, then I can run this race to the finish as well. Seek the small victories in your daily life and remind yourself that this too, you will overcome!
To God be the Glory.
The Solution to All of Your Needed Repairs: Jesus
My husband fixes everything. If it falls, he puts it back, if it shatters, he repairs it, if it crawls, he catches it! If there is a problem in the house, he is the man. He fixes me too. I fall apart sometimes and my loving husband is right there to pick me up and piece me back together. He so gently encourages me to continue on or he holds me until I have enough strength to get up again. We all fall down, but when we have that one person who can pick us up, dust us off and set us back on the right path we should considered ourselves blessed beyond measure.
Although we reside on opposite sides of the world, my husband still has the ability to shift the tide in my day. The sound of his voice can calm and delight me. The words he writes to me bring me comfort and fill me the knowledge of his love. I know that physical distance will never pry us apart. He is still the person I run to, and nothing will change that. However what happens when I can't reach him?
This may sound strange after what I just wrote, but people cannot fill every void in our heart. As a woman I rely so heavily upon my husband and I allow him first place in my heart sometimes. However, I believe Jesus would like to be on the throne in my heart and reside in first place always. Jesus says I should run to him. But wait a minute, God blessed me with a man who is there for me. Is he not able to fix all of my problems and be my all in all? No, that is not the way God intended it to be.
The Lord has been teaching me during this separation from my husband that He is the one who is always with me, and will never leave me. He is the one who is always there. His Word never fails and He has set his love upon me from the moment I was conceived. He is the greatest handyman that ever was. God has been fixing people and fixing their problems since time began. Why go to man for a temporary fix when we can go to God for an eternal fix?
Though I am blessed without a doubt by my husband and his love, my relationship with God has carried me through this time and every difficult time I have had to face in my life. The reality is that Ethan cannot always be right by my side. I am going to fall when he is on the other side of the world. But that is okay, because I have a Savior who will pick me up and put me back together when Ethan can't. Truly, a Savior saves. Redundant as that may sound, who better to fix us than the one who designed us to begin with!
As I grow in my own walk with my Savior, I learn to run to him so that there are times when I can be the one to put others back together.
Although we reside on opposite sides of the world, my husband still has the ability to shift the tide in my day. The sound of his voice can calm and delight me. The words he writes to me bring me comfort and fill me the knowledge of his love. I know that physical distance will never pry us apart. He is still the person I run to, and nothing will change that. However what happens when I can't reach him?
This may sound strange after what I just wrote, but people cannot fill every void in our heart. As a woman I rely so heavily upon my husband and I allow him first place in my heart sometimes. However, I believe Jesus would like to be on the throne in my heart and reside in first place always. Jesus says I should run to him. But wait a minute, God blessed me with a man who is there for me. Is he not able to fix all of my problems and be my all in all? No, that is not the way God intended it to be.
The Lord has been teaching me during this separation from my husband that He is the one who is always with me, and will never leave me. He is the one who is always there. His Word never fails and He has set his love upon me from the moment I was conceived. He is the greatest handyman that ever was. God has been fixing people and fixing their problems since time began. Why go to man for a temporary fix when we can go to God for an eternal fix?
Though I am blessed without a doubt by my husband and his love, my relationship with God has carried me through this time and every difficult time I have had to face in my life. The reality is that Ethan cannot always be right by my side. I am going to fall when he is on the other side of the world. But that is okay, because I have a Savior who will pick me up and put me back together when Ethan can't. Truly, a Savior saves. Redundant as that may sound, who better to fix us than the one who designed us to begin with!
As I grow in my own walk with my Savior, I learn to run to him so that there are times when I can be the one to put others back together.
Monday, October 18, 2010
There Will Never be Enough Time
These were the words my husband said to me the day we said goodbye, knowing we would be apart for the next year. He was right. There will never be enough time.
Standing by his vehicle, we put our arms around each other. He held me and I soaked it in. I put my head to rest on his strong chest, knowing it would be a while before I would feel his warm embrace and the safety of his loving arms. We didn't want to say goodbye. We had to. Whether I said it right then or five hours later or the next week, I would still have to do it and face the road ahead. We still had to walk in separate directions knowing we'd be away from one another for the next year. We had to let each other go.
As I held him, I appreciated over and over every little detail of our life together and the man he is to me. I thought about what my daughter would say when he stopped coming home from work in the evenings and how I would gently explain to her why he could not go to the playground with us. Then my mind rushed to the newborn daughter he held in his arms the night before. When he sees her again she will run up to him, or maybe she won't because she will not know who he is. Then foolishness took over and I thought of joining the Army and or creating my own USO act to take overseas. What would my husband do if I just showed up in Afghanistan? He would not be happy. He is there so we can live where we are and enjoy the life we have. We hugged, we kissed, we traded expressions of love and encouragement and he walked away as I drove. Then came the tears. What sweet sorrow it is to be so in love that you could miss a person so deeply from the very second you had to leave him.
The beauty of a shared faith is, however, that we are never apart. The Lord will keep us close in spirit. Our love is deeper than just a physical connection. We are one. Though apart, we are still together. This separation does not destroy us, it makes us. We learn the value of each other every minute we spend apart. We do not take a day together for granted. We enjoy doing all the little things side by side because of this. When a married couple feels there is never enough time to be together, that is a very good thing!
Standing by his vehicle, we put our arms around each other. He held me and I soaked it in. I put my head to rest on his strong chest, knowing it would be a while before I would feel his warm embrace and the safety of his loving arms. We didn't want to say goodbye. We had to. Whether I said it right then or five hours later or the next week, I would still have to do it and face the road ahead. We still had to walk in separate directions knowing we'd be away from one another for the next year. We had to let each other go.
As I held him, I appreciated over and over every little detail of our life together and the man he is to me. I thought about what my daughter would say when he stopped coming home from work in the evenings and how I would gently explain to her why he could not go to the playground with us. Then my mind rushed to the newborn daughter he held in his arms the night before. When he sees her again she will run up to him, or maybe she won't because she will not know who he is. Then foolishness took over and I thought of joining the Army and or creating my own USO act to take overseas. What would my husband do if I just showed up in Afghanistan? He would not be happy. He is there so we can live where we are and enjoy the life we have. We hugged, we kissed, we traded expressions of love and encouragement and he walked away as I drove. Then came the tears. What sweet sorrow it is to be so in love that you could miss a person so deeply from the very second you had to leave him.
The beauty of a shared faith is, however, that we are never apart. The Lord will keep us close in spirit. Our love is deeper than just a physical connection. We are one. Though apart, we are still together. This separation does not destroy us, it makes us. We learn the value of each other every minute we spend apart. We do not take a day together for granted. We enjoy doing all the little things side by side because of this. When a married couple feels there is never enough time to be together, that is a very good thing!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Distance (and war) makes the Heart Grow...STRONGER
How can I be faint of heart when he is where he is, doing what he is doing? I cannot loathe in self pity with a woe is me attitude. It is just not acceptable. Knowing what my husband has been through and hearing the tone in voice tells me to shut up and drive on. I put my head down, I pray and I drive on. That is my contribution to our country. I forget about me in a world that tells me to think only of myself.
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